


don't leave me, please

by toofastforfreedom



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/F, I Don't Even Know, I'm so sorry, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 18:41:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15757488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toofastforfreedom/pseuds/toofastforfreedom
Summary: Luisa breaks, and Rose cries.





	don't leave me, please

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SamiraScamander](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamiraScamander/gifts).



> 'To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.' — Federico García Lorca. 
> 
> It was suggested to me to write angst, and i did it.
> 
> Thank you so much, SamiraScamander for the help!

__There's just something different about the way Luisa's eyes shine today; the sparkle happiness in them have disappeared with the last moans full of pleasure she has cried out burying her face in the crook of her lover’s neck. It's another evening where Emilio is too far away to know what actually is happening in his room, and Rose is too scared to ask Luisa why she’s fighting back tears.

(because she already knows

she is the reason why Luisa's eyes are shining from unshed tears

and the truth is so painfully she can’t stand it,

so she remains in silence for another twenty minutes, just listening to her deep breath.)

The rays of the sun peers through the curtains during sunset, sliding down Luisa's naked body, and there is a moment where Rose wishes to be the sun to be able to slide slowly over her body to warm her skin; to make her shine from her touch; to comfort her; to make her feel better… But she's too afraid to make the first move, because she knows that with one slight movement, she could ruin everything,

and she doesn’t want to, because she wants to hold on to this moment forever.

So she hesitates slightly, a pause for five and ten and fifteen seconds before slowly running her fingers along her body,

so slowly, so delicately, and as if Luisa were going to break into pieces, her hands begin to travel across her skin, her fingers caressing every curve of her muscles before her fingertips curiously start tracing over the new hickey on her neck, and the touch of her nails into her body make goosebumps break out across Luisa’s skin as Rose brings her lips to the underside of her jaw, not kissing it, just pressing against her, inhaling deeply of her scent to imprint upon her senses,

and she knows she doesn’t want to let her go; but she must do it,

becuase love doesn’t hurt,

because Luisa doesn’t deserve this.

And she has no right to cry, not now, not when all of this is her fault; but things fall apart,

and her ground drops out from under her feet.

“I need you, Luisa…” She whispers, her heart breaks at the sight of Luisa's tears welling in those astonishing brown eyes, and she wants to fight, to scream, to kick, but there’s nothing she can do.

And Luisa breaks

“I need you too, Rose; but i can't do this anymore.”

And Rose cries, and wraps her arms around her waist tightly, pressing her forehead to her shoulder, her tears wetting her skin and for Luisa it’s a nightmare, because she has never seen her cry before,

and her heart ache from her sobs,

and there is a moment where she hates herself.

So she tangles her fingers in her red hair, resting her chin on top of her head, before kissing her temple, as her eyes burn with tears she lets fall; and she knows this was not supposed to hurt,

this was not supposed to be this deep,

but as if often happens, sometimes it's enough.

“I love you, Rose.” She whispers, her voice breaking as Rose pulls her closer by wrapping her arm around her waist. “But this love wounds and marks, and i really can’t anymore.”

And Luisa leaves the bed and Rose accepts it,

and she lets the image of her world falling apart stab her forcefully like a blunt knife, because she knows she can’t ask for forgiveness for all the pain she has caused the only person who has loved her. But she tries, she really does

“I’m so sorry, Luisa.” She begs desperately, her teary eyes meeting Luisa and every tear rolling down Rose's cheek feels like a solid punch in Luisa's ribs. “Please, don’t leave me…”

But Luisa has made a decision, and she can't fight against it, no matter how hard she is trying.

So before leaving, Luisa kisses Rose, hard but soft but slowly, letting their mouths swallow their sobs, and Rose gets paralyzed by her lips and tries to hold on to this desperate goodbye kiss, forever. Because she knows that when she opens her eyes, Luisa will be gone,

but she can't hate her, and she understands her, so she lets her leave

because she really loves her,

and because Luisa Alver is the best thing that has happened to her.

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm really not sure about this, so please tell me what you think)
> 
> kudos/comments/hate are welcome, and thank you so much for reading!


End file.
